To the boys who broke my heart...
To the boys who broke my heart... Thank you.
When I wasn't enough because I wasn't "skinny enough", wasn't "hot enough", wasn't "cool enough", because I simply complained too much. Thank you.
Thank you for rejecting me. Thank you for allowing me to grow during my time with you. My failing in my relationship with you showed me where to grow. Where to change. I learned. I learned to choose my battles, to appreciate the little things. I learned that without these failed relationships throughout middle school, high school, and the "college years", I would have never learned to truly love myself.
You can never love someone without first loving yourself. You can never fully give someone all of you until you are content with who you are. God has created someone perfectly for you. Someone he molded to pick up where your faults fail you. Someone who will see your flaws not as flaws, but as beauty. Someone that makes you whole. But if there is one thing I've learned in life, it is that God will not send you that person until you are ready.
You can force, you can push, you can rush... but if you do, you are hurting no one but yourself. You are hurting your future. The man, the man that will take your breath away, the man that will make the most mundane things the most fun. He will be the one to suffer. When you rush this process, you are selling yourself short.
Wait. Wait for this person. Learn from the failed relationships, and grow. Grow your relationship with the lord and see the miracle of how your life will change.
If there is anyone who can tell you that it is worth the wait, it's me. I rushed, and I hurt so many people in the process. But thankfully sins are forgiven. God has been good to me. I am blessed enough to experience a love that takes my breath away. To this day. A love that never fails me. I smile watching him do little things … little things that mean nothing to you, but they make my heart flutter.
That is the love you deserve. That man is out there and when you are ready he will come. Be thankful for the failed relationships. Don't become discouraged in yourself. Remember that all that fails now, will eventually help you grow - to lead you to the one.